...and life goes on

OK, the pity party is over.  I feel better. 

Funny how life goes on.  I was feeling all poopy and then wham! things change.  I get a cancellation appointment with the neurologist (who did assure me G does not have a brain tumor, although he wants pictures to be 100% sure), work doesn't seem as stressful (even though it still is), and the hubs, well let's just say he got some possibly promising things going on.

Perspective is everything...and sometime I lose perspective. Hmmm...

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming

G has had some health problems lately  --behavior changes, off the charts tantrums, repeated headaches that won't go away.  Needless to say, we are worried.  Thankfully my kids go to the most awesome school ever and have been evaluated by the school psychologist who has then recommended us to a child psychologist aka 'the feelings doctor'.  Plus my equally awesome pediatrician actually believes me when I tell him something is wrong and has us scheduled to see a neurologist in the near future.  Team this up with regular chiropractic visits to help his neck (which may or may not be the cause of his headaches) and other assorted appointments (do we really need to see the dentist again?) and I am going from place to place to place while trying to manage G's emotional swings and head pain and give both kids a decent quality of life that exists beyond the car.  Add into this the end of the year school stuff along with the fact that we are changing so much for next year (all positive I must say) and I am stressed out beyond belief.  Even the hubs is feeling it even though he doesn't have the schedule that allows him to deal with many of the appointments.  All of this is making both of us a little snappy...not with each other thankfully.  We just don't always have the energy to add all of the niceties that are required by some people.  Sometimes we just cut to the chase and say things as we see it rather than couching it with gentle terms and euphamisms.  I have found out that this has hurt feelings.  So here I am apologizing to people for not putting things in more palatable terms when all I want to do is cry for a really long time.  Bummer!

What's for dinner tonight?

After a not as good as it should be heart scan, my husband decided to 'get healthy'.  This involved a lot more fruit and veggies than he was eating before (read this as none), smaller food portions, and a lot more home cooked meals.  I admit that since he started going in to work and hour earlier I had not worried about making him meals as much so he ate a lot of take out and hospital food (yum!) which is ironically not very healthy. 

So here I am trying to make veggies as palatable as possible.  I win a small battle every now and then, but really feel like I am losing the war.  He just doesn't like them, can't tolerate them, no matter what I do.  Thankfully he is understanding when I sneak pureed veggies in pretty much every meal than can hide a veggie. 

I am also spending a small fortune in groceries buying out of season fruit so we have plenty of fruit on hand for him and the kids. 

My biggest success with this is the home cooked meals.  I have really committed to making him meals to take to work.  Sometimes I am cooking after the kids have gone to bed.  Other times I am making a separate set of meals while I am cooking the evening's dinner.  It is often frustrating, but I am getting a real sense of accomplishment from it. 

The best news is that he is showing results.  Since July he has lost over 30lbs and is in jeans the size he wore in high school.  His joy at being able to wear Levi 501 jeans again was too cute!

I'm not sure where I am going with this post, but I needed to tell someone about how proud I am of myself for being able to help him on this journey.  Oh yeah, and if you have any good ideas for making veggies more palatable send them to me.

I am still alive

Great--My first post in a long time and the website ate it.  Yuck!


I'm not typing the whole thing again so here's the run down...
Everyone's doing great at school and work but we are all crazy busy.


Promise to post more often.  Bye!

OK--I was wrong

All my life I have scoffed at chiropractors.  Quacks! Charlatans! Voodoo mumbojumbo!  OK, maybe not that bad, but I never considered them a real option.  Then I heard about a co-worker that took her daughter to a chiropractor as a last resort to help with ear infections...and it worked!  Hmmm, well, I didn't know what to say about that.  The hubs knew...he went right to that chiropractor to see if the guy could help with allergies.  He ended up getting his painful back fixed instead.  So now I am thinking, "maybe there is something to this."  I send Miss Miranda off to see if he can fix her wonky, pigeon toed foot that has no fix (according to every other doctor in OKC).  He says he can.  So here I go again.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this works like he says it will. It can't be fun to go through life knock-kneed and pigeon toed.

What is going on??

Dare I say it?  We survived February!  I realize this is a bit premature since it is only Feb 26th, but we made it to the end.  This has been a crazy month...record snowfall with record lows, swinging to record highs and fabulous spring like weather, ending with torrential rains and another reality check...it is still winter.  We are all confused.

Spring will be here soon and with it comes spring projects.  This year is putting in a patio and sod on the upper terrace in the backyard.  This has to happen as soon as possible since right now it is just dirt; clear of grass, weeds and other annoying things that make laying a patio challenging.  Another reason for its urgency is that my children are drawn to the blank canvas of dirt and, therefore, come in coated with dirt or mud...yuck!  We are also putting up (or shall I say attempting to put up) a slide/swingset/rockwall combo toy for the kids.  This sounds like a lot of fun to play on and like a big headache to assemble, but we are doing it, hopefully,...with a little help from my handy sister.

Personality du jour

My daughter is 5.  Apparently 5 is an experimental age.  She is experimenting with different personalities.  Some days she's shy and coy.  Other days she funny and outgoing.  Sometimes the change happens in the blink of an eye.  Lately she's been using her voice in different ways to add expression to her words. She'll hear something from a classmate at school and have to try that voice inflection or phrase herself to see what it does for her.  Occasionally I have to stop her and let her know that a phrase is not OK with mom, but usually I let her go.  It will be interesting to see the person that emerges once she has settled on who she is.

Anticipation--not always a good thing

What's worse--freezing cold temps or the 2 weeks of warning the weathermen (oops!--weatherpeople) give you about the cold temps?  For 2 weeks we have been anticipating the very cold temps that should begin rolling into our city this weekend.  I almost wish they'd give a day or two notice and leave it at that. 

The nice thing about knowing is I could properly threaten my children as to what would happen if this was the weekend they chose to leave their coats at school.  I can also make sure I am properly stocked up on all things required to survive a cold snap--hot chocolate, tomato soup, grilled cheese fixings, extra toilet paper so I don't have to leave the house in a bathroom emergency--all the necessities in life.

New Year, New You

What's your resolution? 

We hear that a lot this time of the year.  I don't believe in resolutions.  I believe that if you want to make a life change there is no better time than the present, no matter what time of the year.  This year I happened to be sick over the New Year's holiday.  As it happened I went for several days without caffeine due to this illness and broke my dreaded caffeine addiction.  I am sure all the 7-11s in my neighborhood probably think we have moved since they haven't seen me in days.  I am thrilled about not NEEDING caffeine to make it through the day.  I can't say I feel any better, but I feel better about myself which is something.

I don't believe in resolutions but I do believe that we can take an opportunity that is presented and use it to our advantage.  I hated being sick, but I am glad that I was able to start the new year well rested and caffeine free.

Simple play

I love to see my kids engaged in simple play.  Today they are looking through books and dancing to music on the toy CD player.  It makes me happy to see them using their imagination to tell stories even though they cannot read and use their bodies to dance even though they have no formal lessons.  Beautiful!

Cruising along

There is something to be said for boring.  Right now life can be considered pretty boring, no dramatic ups and no tramatic downs....just cruising along.  I kind of like boring.  To me boring means that I am finally getting the hang of being a working mom with 2 preschoolers and a husband that works a lot.  I've had to let go of a lot of things and I still freak out sometimes, but for the most part life is pretty boring....and I couldn't be happier!

Motivation...please come to me

Usually I am gung-ho about Christmas shopping.  I know what I want to buy for people, go online and buy it.  I am usually done with shopping by now.  The Fex Ex and UPS guys should be visiting my house repeatedly by now. 

This year I am at a loss.  I don't know what to get people.  I look forever to try to find something I think people will want and have no luck.  Really I just wish I could buy everyone an amazon gift certificate and call it done, but that doesn't work.  I don't know why I am feeling like this.  I need to get myself in the spirit so that I can enjoy the Christmas season when it comes.

Bah!

Halloween

Halloween is coming!  We have Rosetta and Super Why! at our house.  As a librarian I am thrilled my kid wanted to be the leader of the Super Readers and wear a giant book on his chest.  I am such a nerd!

What's in your cabinet

If your cabinets and freezer look like mine, they are full of a bunch of stuff you have bought and never eaten.  Eventually it will all get so old you will have to throw it out.  Sad, but true. 

At school we are preparing for the annual canned food drive.  As I am becoming more introspective about wastefulness and need in our community(and my need to defrost the upright freezer is becoming quite urgent...if you know what I mean) I have decided that my family is going to eat what we have before we buy again. I have been putting the strangest meals together as I try to make what is left in the pantry into a meal.  I take pleasure in being able to remove one more thing from the freezer or from the pantry.  My husband currently finds it amusing.  His patience with my quirks is endless.

This act has almost been like a personal test for me.  Growing up as I did with erratic food supply issues, I have now become almost a food hoarder.  When the pantry gets sort of low--we only have one can of green beans left (but lots of other stuff) I feel the need to go to the store and stock up on everything.  Now I am challenging myself to see how low I can let the pantry get before I shop again.  Hopefully this exercise will help me break out of the cycle of waste that I was in....and maybe my freezer will be defrosted in the process.

Swish, swish

I just washed my husband's new smart phone in the washing machine and then dried it.  It was in his jeans pocket and I never knew until I started folding the clothes and felt the weight of the phone in the jeans.  It wasn't my fault, the jeans were in the dirty clothes hamper and it is not a big deal because we have insurance on it.   So why do I feel like a complete loser for having done this?

Christmas in October???

Well, I did it. I took the kids Christmas 'looking' trying to get an idea of what the kids want for Christmas.  I wouldn't have done this yet, but I am already getting questions and it looks like my weekends between now and Thanksgiving are booked.

My conclusion?--my kids already have too much junk that they never play with.  I pretty much know what will happen with every toy on the Christmas list.  Curious??

• Robot hand--Gabriel will pinch Miranda, Mom, or Dad with this and will lose it to the garage.
• Handy Manny Talkin' Toolbox--Mom will discreetly take out the batteries one night and tell Gabriel they ran down because it was driving her crazy. (sure, it's a lie.  but it is cheaper than Prozac)
• Marble Race--lots of small parts to spread around the house until Mom organizes them.  Then they are never played with again.
• My Little Pony--traded with the neighbor girl for other assorted junk
• Dress up dresses--Gabriel will continue to freak out grandparents with his love of wearing pink dresses.  He's excited at the prospect of a new wardrobe.
• Roller skates--ER visit--need I say more

And the list goes on....

New favorite things

I have learned a few things over the past 2 weeks...

• when I am feeling frumpy fabulous shoes and fancy earrings can solve the problem
• fabulous shoes too many days in a row can lead to painful feet
• fancy earrings and 3 year olds do not mix well
• life is much easier if you handle most things with a smile and a laugh

Oh yeah, the thing that has been the best for me--mini-muffins rock my world!  Because of these little things I have gotten the family out of the house EARLY all week AND the kids had breakfast.  Yee-haw!

General Ramblings....

Jason and I went to dinner with some friends last night.  They are the kind of friends that you don't spend enough time with and you're not sure why.  We always have such a good time when we are out with them.  I am sure that proximity and family/work obligations has a lot to do with it.  They live a considerable distance from us.  Their work life and ours can get a bit crazy at times and, like us, they have 2 small children.

It was the conversation revolving around children that got me thinking.  Their kids are about 2 years apart like our children are, but their kids are several years younger.  They are 'in the trenches'.  It made me realize how far we have come with our own children.  I remember the 'in the trenches' feeling.  Sure, my kids are a pain in the neck frequently, they are kids...it's their job, but I am not dealing with the potty training trauma, the what spit-up am I wearing today game, the lack of sleep daze that comes with young children. 

What impressed me most was the relief that both she and I felt from our conversation.  We both have had such similar parenting experiences even though she stays at home with the kids while I worked and used daycare.  It feels wonderful to realize that you are not the only person to have feelings of stress & depression over children, strain on relationships because of the stress and depression, and general frustration.  I would love to start a movement called "Truth in Parenting".  Let's be honest about our feelings toward our children and the parenting side of things.  I love my kids more than life itself and would do ANYTHING for them, but sometime they grate my nerves and get on my bad side.  It's OK.  It doesn't make me a bad parent to say that.

What do you mean I can't do it all?!?

I have lived the past few years under the assumption that I could do it all--work, be a mom, be a wife, cook meals every night, mow the yard, keep a clean house, stay totally caught up on laundry, remember all the details of life for 4 people AND keep my sanity.  I have just now realized this is not possible.  I have passed on one of my responsibilities...mowing the yard.  For the first time in my life I am paying someone to mow my yard for me and I am thinking about making it a regular occurrence.  The relief I felt last night when I did not have to make the choice--sit the kids in front of the TV while I mow the yard or spend time with the kids--was incredible.  I helped the kids ride bikes up and down the street (one of these days they will figure it out) and we played soccer in the front yard until it was time to get ready for bed.  Beautiful!

Fall in love

I love Fall. Just as you are getting sick of oppressive heat that seems to go on and on...Fall sneaks up on you.  Cooler nights, gentle (and not so gentle) rains, breezes with just a bit of chill.  Love Fall clothes, warmer but not the heavy necessity of winter.  Love Fall foods, chili, beans, baking...yum!  The great thing is that Fall is still warm enough to grill and play outside until bedtime.  I love Fall.